Thursday, January 10, 2008

Stop thinking about having bad days

"I'm having a bad day."
I hear that time to time from some people. And when they say it, you see ... distraught looks on their faces.

"What's going on?"
I mean, how can someone's entire day be bad. And to extend this a little further a better question would sound like, how can someone have a bad week, a bad month or a bad year.

"Well... I can't get my mind off (and they name some pending situation/perceived problem),"
that's it. It wasn't their job (other than the fact that they aren't thinking about what they are doing... just going through the motions, wasting tons of time, being less productive, making unnecessary mistakes, etc.). It's not their boss, although it soon will be if they don't get their heads out of their butts. The inability to be in the moment, the habit of having your mind wander to negative thoughts (weather, you have nothing to wear, can't pay bills, the family, the kids drive you nuts, husband/wife is demanding, in-laws are coming over, customer questions... etc.), such thoughts destroy productivity.

As for me one thing that has kept me away from such negative thoughts and feelings is the Laser-Focused Concentration, and Being in the Now!

The way I learnt and practiced this could be a freak in the sense that no matter what is going on in my life or all around me at any given moment, I can block it all out and stay focused on what I am doing, no matter what I am doing.

I call this the ability to focus...

When you can put your blinders on and shut off all inner mind chatter (about anything) and block out all outside noises, sounds, disruptions and excitement, you can be powerful.

Skills at getting things done will attract the attention of everyone around you, and you'll surely start to rise up in life.

I'm not attempting to sermonize, but yes this is the case with anyone who can block problems and disturbances and daily life out while they need to be concentrating on what they are doing.

These are just a few to name, but the benefits that you can realize would be...
You'll stop making stupid mistakes.
You'll be able to set aside things by prioritizing effective so you can get done what you have to get done.
You'll get more done faster and better.
You'll have an hour or two more time every day to either get more done or to relax or to exercise.
You'll have less stress and anxiety.

In short, you'll stop having "bad days" because you won't be bogged down by those thing everyone else can't get their minds off...
...because you can.
And be assured you won't feel the stress.
And you'll stop having bad days because of not being able to set aside your "problems" until you should.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Every time I look at myself and think on how much I've gone through, I still hardly believe that I have become the strong person that I am now. The biggest factor I'd like to consider is my relationship with my Parents. I learned to stand on my own, make decisions on my own because they let me do it. This started in during my high school years when I'd always to ask permission to go out with friends. They would allow with a promise to be back at a designated time, which I did exactly. Also the college admissions we handled it on our own. I do not have male siblings and they gave everything they could to face the world with confidence.We started traveling outstations all by ourselves at the age of 10 to explore various places imbibe various cultures and learn from the way of living across borders. Being in armed forces family we had the oppurtunity to do so.I learnt not only to ride cycles but also geared scooter which was unheard for girls in those days 1980's. I was encouraged to manage our own finances and decisions and take ownership and feel good if it worked and accept the mistake if it back fired and face the consequences. Taught to nurture relatonships, acknowledge each and every human being and share and care.I felt how much he appreciated and had trust in my confidence and abilities. This gave me so much confidence and encouragement to realize my dreams. I feel good to be free and independent because my father allowed me to be. Now I pass on the good attitude I got from my father.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Love and Charity

My 9 year-old showed me just how good it feels to give to others when we went to the store for our 'treat day' (Sundays). He picked out his treat, and noticed a little boy asking his mom to buy him a chocolate bar. The little boy's mom told him they only had enough for bread and milk. My son turned to me and asked if we could buy the little boy a chocolate bar as well. Of course, there's no way I could deny that request. The smile on his face when he handed the treat to the little boy, whom he didn't even know, almost made me cry right there in the store. Sometimes I think maybe our children should be running the world.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Today I Made a Difference

Today I made a difference.( Happened few days ago)
Have you ever had an experience so out of the ordinary that even though you were actually there, you can hardly believe it really happened? That type of experience happened to me today.
My daughter and I went out to eat. At dinner, Varsha commented, “I think you were born to coach/teach people, Mom.” I laughed and told her I agreed. After dinner, we decided to stop in a small department store next door to the restaurant. We split up as we usually do, going in our own direction and meeting up somewhere in the middle.
Today something happened that cemented in stone the direction my life is meant to take. As I was walking down an aisle, a woman spoke to me from behind. It was obvious she was not 100% there mentally, but I was courteous and answered her. She spoke about how bad her job was, and the economy, and how everyone was out to get her, etc…
It was obvious she was a tad bit delusional. I’ve learned to never feel sorry for anyone because we are all special in our own way. I treated her with the same respect and dignity I would any other person and listened to her. That’s all she wanted.
She followed me around as I looked down the aisles, her story getting more in depth as we went along. She mentioned several times how she wished she were dead, and how she would be if it weren’t for taking care of her parents.
I spoke hopeful words to her, and encouraged her to take it a day at a time. I spoke of taking care of herself first so she had more to give to her parents. She was crying when my eleven year old daughter, Varsha, walked up.
Varsha was looking at me with a “what on Earth are you doing, Mom?” look. Her look turned to a look of admiration as she listened to this woman talk with such desperation and heard this lady’s voice and demeanor change as she ate up the attention I was giving her.
I encouraged her to find her dreams and pursue them. She spoke of being a teacher at one time, and I encouraged her to find her place teaching again. I asked her if she liked to write, and she said she loved to. Once again, I encouraged her to start writing and share her experiences with others, as it would be very theraputic.
She had a smile on her face when we parted ways. That was a far cry from the desperation she was wearing a matter of minutes before.
We can all make a difference in this world if we just take the time to share a little bit of ourselves with others. Everyone has a special gift to share with the world, and sometimes it just takes the kindness of a stranger to point it out.
Who knows if she was serious about wanting to kill herself, but if she was, maybe someone showing a little kindness and interest changed her mind. Once again I’m learning life’s lessons in the strangest of ways…
My life was enriched tremendously by this woman, and I realize that my small gesture of kindness will be repaid to me in wonderous ways.
I may never know if I helped her, but she taught me how to be open and a little more selfless and I’m very thankful for her gift.
The next time I’m put in a situation such as this, I’ll do better…I’ll get her name.

On Life and Being Human

Many times in life we realize that we’ve taken a wrong turn, followed the wrong path, so to speak, and before we know it, where somewhere totally different than we had intended to be.

How does this happen? When did we fall astray?

Why were we blind to it when others may have seen it as plain as day?

It’s time to “come clean,” for the lack of better words.

I’ve personally been on a path that has been moving me further and further away from my dream.
How this happened, I’m not quite sure. All I know is that it has happened. The past year has been a roller coaster ride and, at times, I’ve felt as if I was riding unsecured, just hanging on for dear life. I’m sure at times, many (if not all) of you have gone through the same feeling.

How did I allow this into my life? What did I do to attract it?

I found myself asking myself those questions, and in doing so, I found myself realizing that I’ve put too much pressure on myself to have all the answers. I sometimes fall into the trap of questioning myself to death (or just driving myself crazy!)
I fought with myself because I wasn’t too fond of sharing this turmoil with the world, but I found that in exposing myself once again, I may be able to help someone with their issues.
I’ve had turmoil in this past year that has taken it’s toll on me, emotionally as well as physically. It’s amazing, when you are a mentor/coach, people automatically assume you are ALWAYS feeling peachy and have all the answers.
If I got stressed about something, I would hear, “Why don’t you take your own advice” ~

Why on EARTH would anyone assume that because I am coach or a trainer that they would never get down or stressed? Does it take away my ability to be human and feel emotions? Let them walk a day in my shoes and see how hunky dory they feel…

I am not allowed to mention anything about the legal stuff we’re going through (custody-related) but just let me mention this one thing… The legal system is absolutely ridiculous! When it’s over, I’ll share and you’ll understand a bit about what has been going on and why even the “motivational-type” people have their days…

What is the lesson for me? I continue to search. I find myself turning to gratitude because I know that’s the key to putting it all together. I’m grateful for many things in my life. I sometimes forget to look to gratitude because I am human.

I make mistakes.
I sometimes do things the hard way.
And I used to be afraid to admit it.
I suffered from low self-esteem from time to time.
I felt I had to please others to be liked.
And I’ll admit, sometimes those old habits creep back in.
See? I’m very human.

So, we humans have our moments of “realness” and I wanted to share this instead of just being scarce until I worked through it.

Sure, I’ve been busy, but I can’t be inspiring to others without taking care of myself first.

I started working out.
I cut down on chocolates and ice creams
I drink a lot of water.
I got a new hairdo.

I’m just learning to take care of myself a bit more so I have more left to share.
So, that’s the scoop. I hope it makes you realize that it’s okay to have “your moments” as long as you pull yourself right back up and do something about it. I once heard a quote that said that it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, it’s how many times and how quickly you get up. (That’s paraphrasing about 3 different quotes I read.)
I appreciate you all my friends, my family!

The Tides of Life

At the beach when the tide is going out,
the waves recede and it seems
that nothing is happening in the sea.
But the truth is that the great swells
are gathering strength beneath the waters,
building energy for the time
the tide will return...

It's similar to times in our lives
when something we have depended on
is gone and we are left
with a feeling of emptiness and sadness.

At times like this we can take heart
Knowing that an unseen strength
is building within us.
And if we can only be patient
relying on a sure faith,
the tide of life will turn
and happiness and fulfillment
will once again return to us

Friday, October 26, 2007

Little Bit of Kindness

There are times in our life when we don't take action because we feel the action is too little, that it wouldn't make a difference. However, sometimes the smallest gesture can make a huge impact on someone's life. There are many different ways we can show kindness to others, and it doesn't have to be in a big way.

The simplest of things may make the difference. A smile,a hug,a handshake, a door being held open, a handwritten note, a kind word, the list can go on and on.

I was recently reading some of Aesop's fables and came across the story of "The Lion and The Mouse". While this story has been around for a long time, it still has wisdom in its words. Below is the story:

One day a Lion was asleep when a little Mouse began running up and down his back; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him.
"Please don't," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?"
The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him that he lifted up his paw and let him go.
Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, he pulled with all his might, but the ropes were too strong. Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad plight, in which the Lion was, went up to him, and with his sharp little teeth gnawed away the ropes, setting the Lion free.
"You once laughed at me," said the mouse. You thought I was too little to do you a good turn. But see, you owe your life to a poor little mouse."

While you may think the story is far fetched, the point I found in reading the story is not the size of the action that is important, but the difference that a small action made.